Gonorrhea Lectim

The Centers for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease. This disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim (pronounced "gonna re-elect him"). Many victims have contracted it after having been screwed for the past 4 years, in spite of having taken measures to protect themselves from this especially troublesome disease. Cognitive sequellae of individuals infected with Gonorrhea Lectim include, but are not limited to:

1. Anti-social personality disorder traits; delusions of grandeur with a distinct messianic flavor;
2. chronic mangling of the English language;
3. extreme cognitive dissonance;
4. inability to incorporate new information;
5. inability to accept responsibility for actions;
6. exceptional cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado;
7. uncontrolled facial smirking;
8. ignorance of geography and history;
9. tendencies toward creating evangelical theocracies;
10. and a strong propensity for categorical, all-or nothing behavior.

The disease is sweeping Washington. Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed and baffled that this malignant disease originated only a few years ago in a Texas Bush.

(thx Guillaume)