A List of Things I Won't Be Doing

Running up to a wall and doing a backflip.

Going spelunking (especially the part about getting stuck).

Visting Crawford, Texas.

Voting for Man-on-Dog Senator Rick Santorum this November.

Eating pickled eggs.

Buying a Toby Keith album (see definitions 1, 2 and 3).

Dying anytime soon (okay, I have 30 years left).