Friday, July 27, 2007

Going All W.C. Fields On the Little Rugrats

Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
W. C. Fields

I took the train back home at 12:15 pm yesterday. Taking the train at lunchtime is always a risky venture -- there are lots of amateurs on the train. Yesterday was no exception...only more so.

There was a group of three Vommie Mommies (moms who are impossibly skinny and talk about it when their middle fingers aren't down their throats after eating one rib of bibb lettuce) and their half-dozen rugrats. And oh weren't they cute? At least that's what the Vommie Mommies kept saying.

The kids ranged in age from 2 to 6, I'd guess. And guess what? The Vommie Mommies couldn't "make" their little darlings shut up or sit down. Not once. Not after the conductor asked them to sit down at least five times. Not once, because on the Main Line it's all about the Self Esteem Movement. Kids are never wrong, and that big, mean, black man who's asking you to sit down just can't be right.

Ugh. Don't get me wrong, I like kids. Well behaved kids. Kids whose parents keep them under control. Kids whose parents realize that their kids are not as cute as they think they are.

We didn't have any problems when I was a kid because my dad had the "One Time Rule." He didn't ask twice. Heck, he didn't even "ask" once. My boys know the same rules.

What astonished me is that those kids were bouncing on the seats. Screaming. Drinking bright red Gatorade and spilling it on the seats. Acting like little jerks. And the Vommie Mommies? Oblivious. And when they weren't oblivious, they were encouraging that rugrat behavior. WTF?

I talked to a lady across the aisle from me. We agreed that we were getting old, but there's still nothing wrong with kids behaving. Otherwise it reminds me of another W.C. Fields quote when asked "How do you like children?" Medium rare, he replied.

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