Phantastic Phriday in Philly

I walked to work from 30th Street today. It's one of those exquisite days in Philadelphia, when everyone seems to be outside, people are eating lunch on the sidewalk by Rouge, and the flowers are in bloom in Rittenhouse Square. And...no one is complaining about the heat yet. Since I walked today, I took out my camera and snapped a few shots. Here's a pair that make me happy.

Sitting on the Train, Watching the World Go By

My normal 45-minute commute took over two hours today. The sum result: while everyone else in Center City is walking around whistling Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah, I'm walking around like Sil from The Sopranos - shoulders hunched, mumbling to myself, being an ambulatory stressball. But I'm better now. It's a beautiful day, I'm going to go outside to enjoy at least a little bit of it.

Um, the reason for the delay? Not these guy who were ripping up track and setting it back down with one of the biggest and coolest machines I've ever seen. Nope, the Amtrak train that passed my R5 like a bat-out-of-hell broke down about 30 feet after it got past us. Ugh.

Albert is on the Ballot

Albert for President. Okay, that was Pedro, but Albert is running for ward committeeman. Vote for Albert. I'll post more details when the time gets closer.

It's Springtime in Philadelphia

Everyone is outside in Center City. The cherry blossoms are about to burst in Rittenhouse Square. Springtime has come to Philadelphia. Yeah!

What the Hell is Going On With The Sopranos?

I was so stoked when The Sopranos came back on the air. Yet, last night I found myself yelling, "When in the hell is something going to happen?" at my television. Did they really need to do two stupid shows with Tony thinking he's some other guy? I got the point about two minutes into that. Thanks for knocking us on the head for another 118 minutes, David Chase. You know it's a pretty shaky show when the best thing that happened is Pauly Walnuts getting his walnuts cracked.

The Dixie Chicks: Not Ready To Make Nice

The Dixie Chicks have a new song out called Not Ready to Make Nice. You can hear it here. The song and lyrics knock me out. The Dixie Chicks were right about George Bush. Show them the love. Their new album, Taking the Long Way, is out April 23. Buy it. Heck, I might even run a little iFlipFlop contest and give away a dozen copies myself. (Did I mention I love The Chicks? They were great at Vote for Change in D.C., back in the days when John Kerry had a real chance to unseat King George.)

Not Ready to Make Nice (Lyrics)
Forgive, sounds good.
Forget, I'm not sure I could.
They say time heals everything,
But I'm still waiting

I'm through, with doubt,
There's nothing left for me to figure out,
I've paid a price, and i'll keep paying

I'm not ready to make nice,
I'm not ready to back down,
I'm still mad as hell
And I don't have time
To go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is
You think I should

I know you said
Why can't you just get over it,
It turned my whole world around
and i kind of like it

I made by bed, and I sleep like a baby,
With no regrets and I don't mind saying,
It's a sad sad story
That a mother will teach her daughter
that she ought to hate a perfect stranger.
And how in the world
Can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they'd write me a letter
Saying that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over

I'm not ready to make nice,
I'm not ready to back down,
I'm still mad as hell
And I don't have time
To go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is
You think I should

I'm not ready to make nice,
I'm not ready to back down,
I'm still mad as hell
And I don't have time
To go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is
You think I should

Forgive, sounds good.
Forget, I'm not sure I could.
They say time heals everything,
But I'm still waiting

A Funny 404 Message: You Broke the Internet

I was reading about Chickenman on Mere Cat and one of Tony's commenters directed readers to this clever 404 message. Um, he meant to direct people here. WARNING: Sound...and Chickenman doing his bawk, bawk, bawk.

Slow Walk on a Sunny Afternoon

I'm slow. I think quickly, but I walk slowly. I don't want to walk slowly, I just do.

I'm not one of those people who shuffle. Don't think of me as one of those types who might as well be wearing bedroom slippers (I've actually seen a few of them). I don't drag my feet like a Thorazine addict. I don't have drop foot. I don't drag ass. I'm just plain slow.

How do I know this? I walk a fair amount. Have my whole life. And for my whole life I'm always asking people to slow down. To walk half-a-step slower. When I walk from Suburban Station to work on Rittenhouse Square, people pass me. Like I'm standing still. I'm the slowest walker I know.

Now, I don't think it's because of my leg length (I have a 32 inseam, which is "average," I guess. It's not like the 36+ that I know some have). It doesn't seem to be because I drag my feet (I don't). And it honestly doesn't feel like it's because I'm genetically related to a three-toed sloth. (I have five toes on each foot, thank you very much.) So what gives? Why am I the guy people tailgate on 18th Street until they can fly by me like I'm standing still?

My slow walking never bothered me much before. But I've been noticing how people whiz by me, people who make walking look effortless. I try to move my legs faster, but that just seems choppy. And unseemly. A guy my age just shouldn't look like he's rushing anywhere. So, I think I'm going to look at my stride length. Do a little analysis. Figure out why I'm the little kid always being told to hurry up. (What did the Father Tomato say to his son, who was always lagging behind? Ketchup.)

I'll let you know how my little experiment goes. And I'm willing to take suggestions. And if you see me microstriding the streets of Philadelphia, just take a step to the left and fly right by. I'll be the guy in your dust.

Ever want to send anonymous e-mail? Here's how.

Here's a tutorial on how to send anonymous, untraceable e-mail through a re-mailer. Just in case you want to dash off a quick note to someone and don't want them to know who you are. Now...I can't think why I would want to send an anonymous e-mail, but say someone I knew had this jerk of a boss some time ago....ah, the mere idea of it is delicious.

Iraq is Arabic for Vietnam

I saw this bumper sticker on a car I was behind on my way home from the R5 tonight: Iraq is Arabic for Vietnam.

Watch George Bush's approval rating sink like a rock

Poor George Bush. Nobody seems to be his frat buddy anymore. Watch his approval ratings plummet over the last couple of years down to simply incorrigible. Nobody likes George.

A t-shirt that makes me laugh

Check out this t-shirt. I've been laughing for five minutes. It might be a leftover from the first time I ever heard about Tourette Syndrome - on an episode of LA Law. I still mimic the outburst when I'm feeling that I cannot control my tongue: "Bitch. Slut. Whore."

Arctic Monkeys: Cool Simians

I heard the Brit band Arctic Monkeys just a couple weeks ago or so on NPR. Then I saw them on SNL. And their music (and their groovy, clipped accents) seems to be everywhere. And, from all appearances, it is. Cool that a band was able to make it by being truly indie.

Stop, Drop and Roll: What To Do If You Catch On Fire While Burning an American Flag

American flag: $25
Gasoline: $2
Cigarette lighter: $2.50
Catching yourself on fire because you're a terrorist asshole: PRICELESS.

(Via BH Int'l.)

I'm going to the NCAA tournament in Philadelphia tonight

I'm the very lucky recipient of a ticket to a suite at the Wachovia Center tonight to see two NCAA men's basketball games: Connecticut v. Albany and Kentucky v. UAB. Yahoo!

I Heart James Spader

I've always liked James Spader...he always plays the dark, smart character. But this speech on Boston Legal is the best work yet. Where is your sense of decency, sir?

Why I'm a Vegetarian

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. -A. Whitney Brown

Okay, I'm not a vegetarian, but this quote made me laugh.

Snowflakes are Flying on the Main Line

Incredible. Two days ago it was summer. Today, snow is flying in Philly (okay, the burbs). When I lived in Chicago the joke there was, "If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes." That could apply here. (The other Chicago-related weather joke was, "There are only two seasons in Chicago: Winter and Construction." If you've spent much time in Chicago you know that the roads are always under repair.)

Bye, Bye, Miss American Pi

Happy Pi Day. (I had this cool image of Pi to add, but Blogger is wanky today, so you'll just have to use your imagination. Maybe some day, when I grow up, I'll move to Moveable Type or Wordpress.)

Oops E-mail

I've inadvertently sent wrong e-mail a couple of times now from my Treo. It's that autofill feature. Yesterday I sent a message to Miss Sarcasmo saying "Trains r running late" when I meant to send it Sarah, Miss Liquid Treats. Fill in "Sar" on the Treo and look what happens...I send an Opps E-mail to Miss Sarcasmo (MS).

On my way in on the R5 I got a reply from MS saying, "Nice...but I don't think you meant to send this to me." I hiccupped. Ugh. I replied, "I like to send announcements to everyone on my mailing list when my train is late." It's how I like to share the pain.

So, no harm, no foul. But I was a knucklehead. I did this one time before when I sent Mrs. iFlipFlop an inadvertent note that said, "Meet us at the restaurant in five mins. We're all here." Mrs. iFlipFlop was in the burbs...I was meeting work colleagues and we were waiting on one. Mrs. iFF called me and said, "I don't think I can get there in five minutes." LOL.

Anyways, I need to turn off the autofill feature on my Treo. Or, I need to get some thumb lipo and contouring so I hit the buttons more accurately. No more Oops E-mails. Until the next time.

Pamela Anderson Gets Roasted...and Realizes She Wore a See-Through Shirt to Her Party

I've watched the Comedy Central Roast of Pamela Anderson: Uncensored DVD about a dozen times. And I just keep laughing. Lisa Lampanelli, with Pamela Anderson just sitting feet away, went on a tirade that had me on the floor with its obscenity (Albert wrote about that here). And where else can you see Andy Dick get bitch-slapped all across the room while Jimmy Kimmel looks nervous, Adam Carolla gets dinged, and Sarah Silverman looks ready to jump off the couch.

Of course there were the Tommy Lee jokes. (One of them: I'm not saying Pamela Anderson's p***y is big, but I heard her children just walked out of there.). One of my favorites from the show (besides Pam's shirt) was Nick DiPaolo, who did some cringe humor while Courtney Love screamed and squirmed and Pam laughed along.

I'm going to watch that video a lot more. It's definitely worth a look (or two or three). Check out the Comedy Central Roast of Pamela Anderson media player...you can get snippets of the show (but only if you're over 18 kids). I gotta watch that thing again. Too funny.

Tony Soprano: Gutshot

That was one helluva way to end the first Sopranos episode after 21 months on hiatus: Tony Soprano was gutshot by Uncle Junior. Wow.

One more picture of Jessica Alba's Oscar dress

Because Jessica Alba's Oscar dress was the best thing about the Oscars, here's one more look back. (BTW: I saw on Extra that her lip gloss, Dior Addict Ultra-Gloss, sold out in minutes at Sephora after she mentioned it after a quick application on the red carpet.)

George Bush's fondness for bald heads

Check this out - a photo documentary of George Bush's fondness for bald heads.

The perfect appliance for iFlipFlop house: the iToilet

I was stumbling around the internets and found this iToilet ad. And I thought it would be the perfect accessory for iFlipFlop's iHouse.

If you were going to get a t-shirt silk-screened, what kind would it be?

What kind of black t-shirt would you have silk screened if you were going to have several dozen of them made? American Apparel? Gap? Others? I want the shirt to be super black, long and comfy. That'd be cool.

I want a furry lobster

I'm hoping that I win one of these furry lobsters the next time I visit Dorney Park and get one of my dimes to stay on a plate.

I know I shouldn't...

...but I'm enough of a juvenile to recognize that Kirby Puckett and kicked the bucket would make a good couplet.

The Best Things About the Oscars: Jessica Alba's Dress and Jack Nicholson's Attitude

I'm glad I didn't bother setting my TiVo for last night's Oscars. I watched them live, and watching them once was more than enough. Sadly, I kept rooting for Jon Stewart, and he kept falling down. Get that man a Clapper.

There were a couple great moments: George Clooney's acceptance speech for Best Supporting Actor...and, I can't think of much else. Two other favorites: Jessica Alba's dress and Jack Nicholson's attitude.


(Source)

Wow. I hope admiring Jessica Alba's dress doesn't move me into the realm of dirty-old-men-who-Google-Jessica-Alba territory. But her dress really was the highlight of the fashion night. (Even this photo doesn't do it justice.)




You know why Jack Nicholson looks cool in spats? Because he's Jack Nicholson. And he's cooler than anyone in Hollywood. Total Jack moment, nothing but "The nominees for Best Picture are..." Done with stone-cold attitude.

iFlipFlop's Person of the Week: Albert (Dragonball) Yee

(Image)

Albert Yee is running for Committeeperson Ward 5 Division 8 (which spans 12th Street to 9th Street and from Pine Street to South Street). He was out knocking on doors and meeting people in his ward yesterday, something that his current committeepeople don't seem to do. Albert has been tireless in advancing ideas in city, state, and national elections when a lot of us got the Bush Blues in 2004 and are just now recovering. And he's moving beyond words...he's doing something about it. Albert (Dragonball) Yee is iFlipFlop's Person of the Week.

Rally the troops. Call your friends. Dragonballyee for Committeeperson. He'll get the job done. And as a bonus, he'll ninja kick a few of those Repugs in the neck.

I have to teach my dog to skateboard

(Photo)

Just when I thought Snickers the Wonderdog was the best dog in the whole world comes this video of Tyson the Skateboarding Bulldog. Snickers, it's time to hang ten.

How do you pronounce "Villegas"?

The announcers on NBC Golf this weekend are pronouncing the family name of pro golfer Camilio Villegas as "vuh-jay-gus." Call me crazy, but I think it's "vee-ay-gus." Where do those announcers come up with that stuff? Ever heard them pronounce Jose Maria Olazabal's name?

On my way back from NYC...

...in a one-horse open sleigh. Ugh.

How George Bush is solving the bird flu problem

In an attempt to thwart the spread of bird flu, George W. Bush has bombed the Canary Islands.

(via BH Int'l)