Applying for a Job at IKEA

I saw this picture titled Applying for a Job at IKEA on EatLiver.com. It cracked me up, especially after reading about Albert's uh-oh about the Aspelund bed frame.

10,000 Girls

I saw this story about 10,000 Girls on TSL. Their mission statement:

To offer education and employment opportunities for 10,000 Girls in rural Senegal, enabling them to develop as self-reliant and capable women, through a self-sustaining organization run by the girls themselves.

Take a look.

Whitey Made Me Do It: How the Cleavers Saved Iraq

Read How the Cleavers Saved Iraq at Kiko's House. George Bush's underlying reason for going to war? Whitey made him.

Let's Bomb Iran

Let's Bomb Iran done to The Beach Boys' Barbara Ann.

BOHICA Enron Boys

Ken Lay and Jeffrey Skilling made thousands of Enron employees and shareholders their bitches. Now they're going to prison for a long, long time, where they will get the be the personal bitches of thousands. Ah, justice is sweet.

Rocking Chair Time

I gotta work on calming the f*** down. I'm going to sit in this chair today. It's 68 and cloudy. Comfy. I'm going to sit here and rock a little. Maybe eat a sandwich in that chair. Sip a Diet Pepsi in a glass filled with ice cubes. Watch the grass grow. Consider the intense colors in the azaleas. Wonder why the snails like the hosta so much. Think about what my newly-planted cherry trees will look like in 20 years. If I can keep from having a heart attack or two over the years, maybe I'll be lucky enough to find out. Out to the chair now. Rock on.

Late Night Bush Jokes

Jay Leno
"Did you know former President James Garfield could write Latin with one hand and Greek with the other at the same time?" That was Garfield. When President Bush heard about it, he said, `We had a talking cat for president?´"

David Letterman
"Lincoln had an IQ of 120. Bush's IQ is under four score and seven."

Hyenas are the New Pit Bull

My buddy, Bill, sent me a note that said: You think your turf is tough?

Please, nobody ever tell me that they grew up in the hood ever again. Can you imagine growing up in this part of Nigeria where the pets are Hyenas? Yeah, you can bring your Pit Bull or your Rottweiller down there if you want. But I think you and your dog will get punked right on the spot. This is probably a Nigerian gang (notice the arm bands) rolling through the hood. Check out the homemade muzzle. And they are being walked with truck chains!!!

I Heart The Dixie Chicks

Just because I dig The Dixie Chicks and this picture from an article about them in yesterday's USA Today.

Michele Malkin Don't Like Black People

To paraphrase Kanye: Michele Malkin don't like black people.

Honestly, I have never understood all the hoopla over MM. But she really is a race-baiter. Strange.

Why It's So Great To Have Boys

I asked the youngest FlipFlop to water some of the trees today. Then I heard, "Hey, Dad." When I looked over he was watering the tree alright. Teenage boys crack me up. (That's the hose, btw.)

Barbaro Broke Down

Barbaro broke down in the Preakness. It looks horrible. Ugh.

Photo credit.

Craig Shoemaker at The Helium Comedy Club

Craig Shoemaker is at The Helium Comedy Club in Philadelphia (2031 Sansom) this weekend. I saw him perform on Wednesday night, and I think I'll be taking a client to see him tonight. The guy is friggin hilarious. Great show, great interaction with the crowd. Fun stuff. Check him out if you get a chance.

Arlen and Cory Ness at OnDemand in Philadelphia

Arlen and Cory Ness were at OnDemand, the print trade show, in Philadelphia yesterday. The master motorcycle builders, and the next thing to rock stars in that business, built a motorcycle for Xerox. It's pictured below. These guys were great and I was able to both shake their hands and get a signed print of the bike. Very cool stuff. Fun day at the trade show. Tschotschkes galore! (A couple pix below from my Treo...wouldn't you know I left the D70 at home yesterday. Ugh.)


The Nu-Ness Bike.


Cory and Arlen Ness.

Heading to the OnDemand Show

I'm heading over at the Pennsylvania Convention Center to walk the OnDemand show. It's the biggest trade show this year in Philadelphia. It's a digital printing and production show. Should be cool. More when I return.

My Vote: Chuck Pennacchio for US Senate

I'm voting for Chuck Pennacchio today. He's the one who will stand for progressive values and beat Rick Santorum. Here's how I look at it...Casey: Old Guard Machine; Pennacchio: Smart Guy. Hmmmm...is it all that hard?

Al Gore Was Great on Saturday Night Live (SNL)

Al Gore's appearance on Saturday Night Live (SNL) this past Saturday was fantastic...it's a take on what would have happened in a parallel universe, where Mr. Gore won the election in 2004 and the world was upside down. Fantastic.

UPDATE: The HiDef version of this video is available at AlGore.org. Great stuff.

UPDATE 2: This at 8:37 PM EST. Sorry to those who visited earlier. You Tube took the video down. But in the good news department, it's up on AlGore.org in glorious HD. I just can't get enough of it.

George Bush on Global Warming

Will Ferrell - George Bush on Global Warming

Cheese Blogging: Chevre

Chevre means goat in French. And the Cypress Grove Chevre I had today was definitely true to its provenance. This Purple Haze variety was both strong and oddly addicting. The soft texture, about the consistency of plan schmear at Einstein Bagels, was perfect for spreading on the garlic & herb crackers. I'd definitely get this one again. It was $6.99 for the small round, which was enough for a few of us to have quite a few crackers and cheese. Yummy for a sunny Friday afternoon in Philadelphia.

BTW: I said Petit Basque was next up. The chevre jumped in front, but I've tasted the PB and will give a review next time the Cheese Blogging fancy strikes me.

George Bush is a Lying Douchebag

George Bush, formerly a miserable failure, is now officially a lying douchebag. Hey George, my phone number is 1-800-UCANBITEMYASS.

Cheese Blogging: Raschera

Okay, I can't be the Stinky Cheese Man today. For one, I took a shower and applied my Axe antiperspirant/deodorant (doesn't seem to have the same effect on strangers as it does in the TV ads...at least for me). Second, my cheese of the day isn't a stinky cheese.

I do love going to DiBruno Brothers at lunchtime and sampling their cheeses. I've tried a bunch, My newfound favorite of the day is Raschera. Mild. Semi-soft, but with plenty of texture. Tasty. Here's the description from cheese.com:

Raschera is an Italian cheese that comes from Cuneo. Its name is derived from Lake Raschera, which lies at the foot of Mt Mongioie. It is a semi-soft cheese made from sweet cow's milk. The flavour of Raschera changes from season to season. Spring and summer cheeses are sweet, fresh and slightly tart. Winter cheeses are more solid and vibrant. Raschera has a round or square shape with reddish-yellow crust.

Okay, Raschera on crackers at lunchtime today. Next up: Petit Basque.

Fat Man Walking

I'm late to the party as usual. But I'm impressed with Steve Vaught. On Fat Man Walking he chronicles his walk across America, from San Diego to New York City, in a quest to lose weight. He did. Over 100 pounds. He's been walking for over a year. He made his goal. Walk on, Steve.

Go Speed Reader, Go Speed Reader, Go Speed Reader. Go.

I was the champion speed reader of my high school. We had machines that trained our eyes to move quickly...they sent out a beam of light that could be narrowed...and we learned how to read fast. Some times as fast as 10,000 words per minute. And we would take comprehension tests...anything below 92% comprehension was considered a failure and we were not allowed to progress to the next threshold until we mastered the current one. Cool stuff.

So, when I saw this article today called How to Learn Speed Reading, I was fascinated. Done reading yet?

BTW: I took this picture of a guy reading on the train last week. I thought the most amazing part was that he was reading Stephen King. I didn't know anyone read that stuff anymore. (I used to be a big King fan years ago...like 20.)

Does Technorati Work Anymore?

I get a fair number of new links on Technorati each week. But the number of links it lists hasn't changed in half a year. In fact, it's stayed at the same number of inbound links for even longer than that. My traffic is up by a factor of 10 over last year, so it seems like something must have changed. Any parallel experiences? (I know, I really shouldn't pay attention to that kind of stuff, but it just seems strange. I look at Techno to see who links in...and if they're good eggs I still give them linky love.)

A Day at the Races

Nope, not those races. I went to the Bridgeport Speedway on Saturday night and watched racers go zoom-zoom-zoom around a 5/8ths mile dirt oval. The coolest thing was when during one of the feature races a guy got spun around going 140 mph (no kidding, he was going that fast), slammed on the gas, and pulled a 360. Got back in the action. And cam in third. Fun stuff. Great track, great crowd, great racing. Hey, it's cool too. Low price ($15 entry) and no drinking makes for a good race crowd. I've been to a few others in Illinois, South Carolina, and North Carolina where the same couldn't be said.

Cleaning my D70 CCD Sensor the Simple Way

Albert wrote me an I spy a tiny fleck of dirt in your eye note on my Flickr site. A recent picture I took of the Comcast Center had a giant blob right in the middle of a clear blue sky. Here it is...the dust is almost in the center and looks like a clear "bump."

Scuze me while I shoot this sky
The dirt is just to the right of the crane at about 45% down from the top. It's a blemish in the blue sky.

So, I had to clean my CCD. And that's no fun. Sounded like a disaster waiting to happen, in fact. I did a recommended test with a white piece of paper, snapped a picture at F22, and looked for the telltale dust.




Things that go bump on the white
Okay, so with this white shot done with a tight aperture, I could see the dirt spots plain as day. (You may have to click on the thumbnails to see what I mean.) Bummer. So, I went to the camera store.

I asked for a sensor cleaning kit. They didn't have one. But the manager of the camera store told me how to fix my problem. It worked like magic. And it didn't cost me a penny. (If you want to know what camera store, send me a note and I'll tell you what store it was and where...I just don't want to get the guy in a pickle if it's not standard operating procedure.)

Here's the proof that what I did worked.


Jeez, I thought cleaning the CCD was something that kids who didn't go to Catholic school had to do
CCD meant the Confraternity of Christian Doctrine when I was a kid. I went to Catholic school in Chicago, and CCD was what Catholic kids who didn't go to Catholic school went to on the weekend. As I find out, CCD can also stand for about a hundred other things. In my case, CCD is for Charge Coupled Device on my Nikon D70. The dirty thing. No more.

The dirt is gone. I shot sky shots. I shot white shots. I shot all kinds of shots. Dirt gone. So, what did I do?

Vacuum.

I setup a long exposure shot with the lens cap on, twisted off the lens once the mirror was actuated, and took the vacuum brush from my Miele vacuum and made a solid connection over the gaping hole. I let the vacuum pull the dust outta there. End of story.

It was so simple. No rubbing of the sensor. No risk of scratching or streaking it. No nothing. Free for nothing. Zero. And I have a clean D70 CCD. Yahoo! Off to make some pix tonight at a dirt racetrack in New Jersey. I might have to repeat the process tomorrow, but for now I'm one happy camper.

Lost Passport

From the comic renderings of BH Int'l:

A guy was traveling through Mexico on vacation when, lo and behold, he lost his wallet and all identification. Cutting his trip short, he attempts to make his way home but is stopped by the Customs Agent at the border.

"May I see your identification, please?" asks the agent.

"I'm sorry, but I lost my wallet," replies the guy.

"Sure, buddy, I hear that every day. No ID, no crossing the border," says the agent.

"But I can prove that I'm an American!" he exclaims. "I have a picture of Ronald Reagan tattooed on one butt cheek and a picture of George Bush on the other."

"This I gotta see," replies the agent.

With that, Joe drops his pants and bends over in front of the agent.

"By golly, you're right!" exclaims the agent. "Go on home to Wyoming."

"Thanks!" he says. "But how did you know I was from Wyoming?"

The agent replies, "I recognized the picture of Dick Cheney in the middle."

Photo credit

Driving Home and Almost Mowing Down a Runner

I drove home from the train tonight at 8:31 pm. My two miles home takes me through back roads that go past the YMCA mansion that was once in the Cassatt family. I tell you this because the roads are small - old Philadelphia suburb roads that were once horse paths. No shoulder. No lights. Barely enough room for two cars to pass each other without cringing and worrying that the mirrors might smack together.

At 8:31PM this evening it was almost completely dark. Well past the gloaming. I was driving near the YMCA with my brights on, going about 25 mph, when I had to swerve at the last second. A goddam runner was on my side of the road, running toward me. If I hadn't swerved, I certainly would have hit her. As simple as that. She was dressed in a white shirt, dark shorts, a hat, and running shoes. No light. No reflective tape. Nothing. I don't know how the cars behind me missed her, except to say they swerved out when I did. It's just nuts. WTF is with runners doing that? I swear, she could have been killed.

The crazy part about the whole thing is everyone drives carefully on that path from my house to the train because of the abundance of deer in the area. We watch out. We drive slowly. We watch. And I say thank goodness, because one second of distraction, one moment of my mind wandering, one adjustment to the radio and the outcome would have been far different than a simple swerve.

I'm really rattled by this. It's not the first time I've seen runners on the road, but it's the first time it's came to the ragged edge. A neighbor of mine was hit by a car or truck (no one knows because the vehicle didn't stop) a few months ago riding in the same vicinity. She was flung to the ground and cracked her bike helmet off her head. She had major brain surgery, a piece of her skull was removed, and she has been in months of physical and cognitive therapy. For what?

I like to ride my bike. I even enjoy walking. But there are miles upon miles of bike paths in our area. There are walking paths. There are neighborhoods with sidewalks and street lights. So...why do people risk their lives and go on roads with no shoulders at dusk? This was one of those almost moments. But, mein gott, what if? This could have been one of those The Bonfire of the Vanities moments, where life is one way in one moment, and one way completely transformed in a blink of an eye.

I Am Man: Burger King's Latest Ad Cracks Me Up

I grew up at a time when I Am Woman by Helen Reddy was the biggest thing on the radio. So, when I saw Burger King's I Am Man ad running during Deal or No Deal, I was captivated. Really great one. For late baby boomers, this is a good one.

Get a Mac

These ads are fantastic. Being a Mac user, I like them more than, say, 95% of the world who use PCs. It's worth watching all six ads if you're so inclined.

The Dixie Chicks: Taking the Long Way Video

The Dixie Chicks have a new video on Amazon that features Taking the Long Way. Wow. Their album comes out May 23.

Ordering a Replacement Remote Controller from Comcast

My Comcast remote controller quit working. So, I went online, followed their instructions, and verified. Yep, that sucker doesn't work. Then I called the number they said I should call. What joy. I had to go through a four-layer phone tree and dial in twice to get to the section I needed. I had to enter my telephone number twice. And then...I finally got a nice lady. Who went through all the questions on their website again. Asked me for the account number, name the account is under, telephone number attached to the account, AND THE LAST BILLED AMOUNT. At some point I said, "Look, I just want to get a replacement remote. I don't have to give this much information to take out a business line of credit at the bank." (It's true, I just did that and answered fewer questions...and got the LOC immediately.) I was then put on hold for 15 minutes. And when the lady came back on she said, "What's the account number again?" Ugh. Then she asked me if I have an analog controller. I said, "How do I know? The thing looks digital because we have a digital box." Anyways, they are sending a replacement controller....which, I'm sure, will be the wrong one. And how do they make money again?

George Bush: Lawbreaker in Chief

Let's see, three strikes and you're out has thousands and thousands of poor bastards in jail for the rest of their lives. So, if you're George Bush and you're the Lawbreaker in Chief, who has broken over 750 laws since you've become president, does that mean you can expect 250 life sentences (750 laws broken / 3 strikes = 250 life sentences). And if we can't get a life sentence or a hundred for this guy, would someone, some day, slap that smirk off his face? (Picture of Bush cronies preparing to dance around his May Pole.)

Missing Monday

Today is Missing Monday. The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children is a clearinghouse of information about a number of missing children, and you can find out about other missing persons here, here and here.

Empire State Building: 75 Years Old Today

The Empire State Building is 75 years old today. I think I'll have my lunch outside on this beautiful May Day. But I think I'll do it more at ground level (acrophobia and apple pie just don't mix).