Whack Your Boss

This must be my "sick humor" morning, but I have to say that this Whack Your Boss game cracked me up. And I found all 15 ways. Ugh. Might be time for a little Zen.

Popeye is Dead

From the BH International News Wire comes this breaking news: Popeye is dead. The sailor man was felled not by a blast from Bluto, but from eating E. coli-tainted spinach. In lieu of flowers, please send your donations to the Swee' Pea and Olive Oyl Program to Eradicate Turds in Spinach (sPOOP - EATS).

Firetrucks are Fun

I went out to get some almond and chocolate croissants at Metropolitan Bakery this morning. It's a rainy day, so no biking today, which I thought I'd make up for with a crow-soo (ah, ze French, zey are zo zophisticated). On my return, firetrucks everywhere.

Fortunately, there were a few doors down from our office. But like a little schoolboy, I was still excited by the flashing lights and went outside to take these pix. I don't know what all the excitement was about, but there was the standard "Nothing to see here folks, just step back" announcement.

Do What's Right, Then Straight Ahead

There's a song from my childhood that I just can't find on a Google search. The lyrics go something like "Do what's right, then straight ahead." I wrote one of my sisters, who is the queen of trivia, and she said, "Oh, that's from the 'yellow record' that we got in a cereal box. It's about Daniel Boone."

So, that narrowed it down quite a bit. But it's going to drive me crazy until I can find the lyrics (or hear it, even better). Has anyone out there (sorry, this might be one for the Reading Glasses Brigade) ever heard of a song like that? My OCD is kicking in and I can't do much until I find out what it is. Ugh. In the words of Melvin Udall, "What if this is as good as it gets?"

What's Torture?

Slate answers the question, What's Torture. Check out the interactive element below the main graph. Um, our moral high ground. More like quicksand.

Disappointing 2006 World Series of Poker

Hi, I'm Frank, and I'm a poker addict. Or at least I play one on TV.

Actually, I like to watch poker on TV for some reason. I don't play the actual game much other than a little online stuff from time to time. So, I was very much looking forward to the 2006 World Series of Poker being televised on ESPN. Bummer.

The winner, Jamie Gold, was a jerk. And now we find out that he's involved in a lawsuit where it looks like he may well be defrauding a friend of his out of half his $12 million winnings.

It's funny, there were 8,776 players this year at the WSOP, each of whom paid a $10K entry fee (or won their way in through a satellite tournament). The winner's prize was $12 million, second place was over $6 million, and each of the final 12 players got over $1 million. And I found myself saying, "I'm not sure I care about this anymore."

Maybe it's the reading glasses. Maybe it's the fact that I'm getting older. Maybe it's because poker has become a variation on the NFL, with all the trash talking and the high fives. I mean, I get it when Mike Matusow or Phil Hellmuth trash talk -- they've actually won something. I get it when Sammy Farha smiles his wicked smile with an unlit cigarette wedge between them -- he plays in some of the biggest money tournaments in the world and wins them. I get it when Daniel Negraneau talks up the table because he's a pro gathering information. But I don't get the "Jamie Golds" of the world.

I wonder if poker has jumped the shark. I wanted to give a smackdown to that little shit, Eric Molina, who showed what being a skinny little punk is all about. (Hey, he goes to school at Villanova, apparently, so maybe he'll get his smackdown on South Street one of these days, especially if he acts anything like he did on the Main Event.)

So, I'm disappointed. Bummer of a winner. It'll be interesting to see how Jamie Gold fares in the upcoming season. I'm going to guess it won't be well. And I'd love to see him in big money cash games, like High Stakes Poker on GSN. His $12 mil will be gone in a heartbeat when he runs into the real pros. And hey, Jamie, there's no trash talk or high fives in that game. They're pros.

Things You Hate Reading

Study: Earth's Temperature Near Million Year High. Is it hot in here, or is it just me?

Can I just do it until I need glasses?

I started noticing recently that I was having trouble reading small type. We're doing some web work right now on a rebranding and I was griping to our designers about the font sizes we were using.

Then I bought some hair product and couldn't read the directions on the back. Bummer. I've never worn glasses my whole life. But I'm there.

I bought some reading glasses today. Eurostyle. And they super help. So...my concession to old age is here...I have reading glasses. I think I'll hold off for a while on the truss and the walking cane. Ugh.

My New Pedal Pushers

These are my new pedals, the Look A 5.1. I scraped the heck out of my ankle last week on my SPD pedal, and the final straw was when I tried to wiggle my right foot free and cracked a mounting screw for my cleat. So...I decided that I need a more positive "click" for riding in the city. So, today was my first day with the new pedals. I was pretty dang pleased with how they worked. So far, so good.

Tomorrow: Training ride on the Manyunk Hill (which means I will go up as far as I can).

Cafe de la Merde Francaise

Gapingvoid is one of my favorite reads. Hugh is some kind of clever.

Cool Clock

Cool clock. And different.

Nudist Trampoline Olympics

First there were the X Games, now there are the X-Rated Games. Nudist Trampolining is the new skateboarding.

One more problem and I'm going to move off Blogger

Ugh...posting problems all day. And...although I've been a Blogger user for over two years, do you think they'd give me access to the beta features? Nope. They give all the cool features to the new people. Dammit.

Sizeasy...or, Why Are Women So Bad at Math?

Have you seen Sizeeasy? Cool site that helps you visualize the size of products. The second part of the title...it's an old joke.

Scaring the Bejeebus Out of Me

I just saw the trailer for Jesus Camp. Goddam scary stuff. OMG.

Do you know anyone who has used HeadOn?

Have you seen those HeadOn commercials? HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead (repeat 3X). Crazy. And this morning I saw a HeadOn ad that almost looked like a spoof...the normal ad was playing when a woman walks in front of the screen and says, "I hate your ads, but I love you product!" Great.

And have you known anyone who has used HeadOn?

A Life List

I have one more thing that I want to add to my life list. Climb the Manyunk Wall.

Okay, I think that I can actually do that one. I'm going to set a date: 11/1/06.

Other list items:

Trek to Everest Base Camp

Run with the bulls at the Festival of San Fermin

Sail the Nile a la Theodore Roosevelt

Gosh, if I had added "Solve world hunger" to my list I could go out for Mr. Middle Aged America!

Broken Water Bottle

I'm soaked. I was squeezing an old water bottle above my head, trying to "bota" some water into my mouth. Kaboom! The bottle broke into 20 pieces and I got a shower. Ugh. Note to self: Degraded plastic is not our friend.

Biking in Philly

Yep, I'm giving it a try. Chuck D and I made it to Fall's Bridge today (which means he waited for me to make it to the bridge). We're going to try Manyunk tomorrow morning. (We only have an hour or so for the round trip.)

I Still Want to Go to Burning Man

Wired has a 10 Years of Burning Man article. And that reminded me that I want to go to Burning Man once. Just once. And Pamplona. And Everest Base Camp. And the Tomatilla.

Ever Create a Lens on Squidoo?

Pretty cool stuff. You can create a "lens" on Squidoo about anything. Tell your friends. Here's an example. If you like it, please vote.

Pumpkin Made Me Smile Like a Jack-O-Lantern

We ate last night at Pumpkin. Fantastic. 28 seats. Great food (I had the chicken). BYOB. Cash only.

Below is a picture of the perfectly crisped fish that MAC had. It was tasty, too. Okay, I was going to be lazy and just say "good," but I'll say more. Pumpkin is in an unlikely spot, right next to an open lot on South Street. It's cute inside. They have four 4-person tables, including a "cool kids table," that has a banquette in a little nook. We sat in the front window (because there's the "cool kids table" and then there's the "beautiful diners table," which is where we were). There are six 2-person tables. None of the tables are too close, so you can have a real conversation.

The tables are covered in an interesting brown paper. The menu is printed daily and there are no additions - so what you get is fresh. At our table we got the chicken (baked half, on finely pureed potatoes), a pork-two-ways entree (pork loin and pork shoulder), and the fish (I don't remember what kind it was...nothing I'd heard of before). We also got appetizers and super tasty desserts (lemon custard, chocolate creme, pineapple cake). All in, including tax, was $116 for three.

As I mentioned, they only take cash. And remember to bring your own wine if that's what you want to do. I'll go back.

Pumpkin
1713 South Street
Philadelphia, PA
215.545.4448

Cool little tidbits: Their leftovers are put in Pumpkin branded Chinese takeout boxes. And, they give you a packet of spiced pumpkin seeds when they bring the bill.

Rosewater

The train was PACKED today. Whenever they even mention rain, the R5 is delayed. And today that delay of 35 minutes made it so that three train's worth of people got on at my stop. But luckily I got a seat, even if it was a middle seat. I generally hate sitting in the middle, but that was made all the better because the woman sitting next to me smelled like roses. I don't know that perfume is, but I love it. Is it this one?

Photo credit.

The End of iFlipFlop

Well, after a couple thousand comments on iFlipFlop, I finally got one that was so persuasive, so compelling, so well crafted and thought out that I said, "Hey, maybe I should listen to this guy. I mean, he is sitting home in his tighty whities and his Dale Junior hat, showing off his 7th grade vocabulary. Yes, I think I'll listen to him." Here's what Little Jac (he didn't leave his last name, so I'll assume that it's Off) said:

Hey frank u f-king loser, i got an indulgence for u cock sucker. Go move to Iran or NK & close this sfucked up website down u dick head loser.
jac

So, heck, I just spent all that time reformatting iFlipFlop. But little Jac has been leaving me comments all over the place. In fact, I didn't even bother closing him off because I so admire his rhetorical style. (Hey, Mr. Off, did you study Greek and Latin in your preparatory school? Because that discursive style is distinctive.) Oh, I can't "shut this sfucked up website down." What outlet would you have? I mean you can't watch Ted Nugent and MILF porn all the time.

First Fur

I wore a variation on my standard uniform to work today. Instead of a black t-shirt and jeans, I wore a black t-shirt and khaki shorts. (Gotta mix it up now and then.) And I carried a gray fleece zip-up because it was a little cool this morning (57F). But it wasn't that cold. This lady sat down next to me at Villanova. And she was wearing a fur coat! Fur. Remember when Christmas decorations used to be put up after Thanksgiving and people actually wore fur coats and fur boots (Ugg!) when it was cold out? Ah, nostalgia.

BTW: I took this pic with my Treo and didn't exactly ask for permission. So I added that little black box just in case.

Ze Frank is Entertaining

Ze Frank's The Show is one of my daily 3-minute indulgences. I'm trying to think right now about what my other daily 3-minutes indulgences are.

Splogs

Splogs suck.

Five Years

A friend of mine sent this picture and the accompanying note that I thought what she wrote punctuated the feeling of five years since 9/11:

I'm in NYC and just sent a pic to your phone...walking along 49th St. I came upon a crowd of firefighters - gathered outside St. Patrick's for a service for families of the firefighters killed on 9/11. And right next to it the image that really struck me - the display windows at Saks 5th Ave have been emptied and are all done in black. The only thing you see is a message in white letters: In Remembrance 9.11.01 - 9.11.06.

Weird how such a little thing would have such an impact. It was as if Saks was saying that the world was going to stop again for just a moment, just as it did 5 years ago.

What's Your Poet Name?

Mine's Lionel Feyfellow. You can find your poet name here. (via The Generator Blog)

Pedestrian Traffic Flow

It's funny, but I'm amazed nearly daily at the self-organizing aspects of how thousands of people are able to walk through Suburban Station and not bump into each other. It's quite a dance - speed up, slow down, twist left at the last second. I'm not sure how it all works, but it is an amazing beehive activity. (In fact, people actually study pedestrian traffic flow.) I didn't bump into anyone on my way to work. But I spent a little time wondering why.

Photo credit.

Morning Smiles

This little girl spends her days with us at our office. And without fail, she makes everyone smile. No wonder people who have pets live longer.

Yes, I Flipflop

Yep, after more than two years I've gone with a new design for iFlipFlop. I looked at the top of the blog and thought, "If Oscar Wilde says 'Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative," why am I staying the same?" Whatcha think?

Suri Cruise and Her Baby Toupee

Dang, that is too funny. Suri Cruise is on the cover of Vanity Fair and the verdict is in: Emo. Some funny comment that I read somewhere and wish I could cite said that she looks like the Baby Toupee kid from SNL.

Update: Tom left this link to Baby Toupees. He wonders if this is where the Cruise's got the wig.

Words of Wisdom by George W. Bush

History teaches that underestimating the words of evil and ambitious men is a terrible mistake. - George W. Bush, Sept. 5, 2006

The Wisdom of Homer Simpson

Another funny one from my buddy at the BH International News Wire. Here's the wit and wisdom of Homer Simpson. (Good stuff for a rainy day back to work...and summer is gone...boo-hoo.)

1. When someone tells you your butt is on fire, you should take them at their word.

2. There is no such thing as a bad doughnut.

3. Kids are like monkeys, only louder.

4. If you want results, press the red button. The rest are useless.

5. There are many different religions in this world, but if you look at them carefully, you'll see that they all have one thing in common: They were invented by a giant, superintelligent slug named Dennis.

6. You should just name your third kid Baby. Trust me -- it'll save you a lot of hassle.

7. You can have many different jobs and still be lazy.

8. I enjoy the great taste of Duff. Yes, Duff is the only beer for me. Smooth, creamy Duff . . . zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

9. You can get free stuff if you mention a product in a magazine interview. Like Chips Ahoy! cookies.

10. You may think it's easier to de-ice your windshield with a flamethrower, but there are repercussions. Serious repercussions.

11. There are some things that just aren't meant to be eaten.

12. The intelligent man wins his battles with pointed words. I'm sorry -- I meant sticks. Pointed sticks.

13. There are way too many numbers. The world would be a better place if we lost half of them -- starting with 8. I've always hated 8.

14. If I had a dollar for every time I heard "My God! He's covered in some sort of goo," I'd be a rich man.

15. Be generous in the bedroom -- share your sandwich.

16. I've climbed the highest mountains . . . fallen down the deepest valleys .. . . I've been to Japan and Africa . . . and I've even gone into space. But I'd trade it all for a piece of candy right now.

17. Every creature on God's earth has a right to exist. Except for that damn ruby-throated South American warbler.

18. I don't need a surgeon telling me how to operate on myself.

19. Sometimes I think there's no reason to get out of bed . . . then I feel wet, and I realize there is.

20. Let me just say, Winnie the Pooh getting his head caught in a honey pot? It's not funny. It can really happen.

21. Even though it is awesome and powerful, I don't take no guff from the ocean.

22. I never ate an animal I didn't like.

23. A fool and his money are soon parted. I would pay anyone a lot of money to explain that to me.

24. Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll get a hook caught on his eyelid or something.

25. I made a deal with myself ten years ago . . . and got ripped off.

26. Never leave your car keys in a reactor core.

27. Always trust your first instinct -- unless it tells you to use your life savings to develop a Destructo Ray.

28. When you borrow something from your neighbor, always do it under the cover of darkness.

29. If a spaceship landed and aliens took me back to their planet and made me their leader, and I got to spend the rest of my life eating doughnuts and watching alien dancing girls and ruling with a swift and merciless hand? That would be sweet.

30. I may not be the richest man on earth. Or the smartest. Or the handsomest.

31. Never throw a butcher knife in anger.

32. The office is no place for off-color remarks or offensive jokes. That's why I never go there.

33. My favorite color is chocolate.

34. Always feel with your heart, although it's better with your hands.

35. The hardest thing I've had to face as a father was burying my own child. He climbed back out, but it still hurts.

36. If doctors are so right, why am I still alive?

37. I'm not afraid to say the word racism, or the words doormat and bee stinger.

38. Always have plenty of clean white shirts and blue pants.

39. When that guy turned water into wine, he obviously wasn't thinking of us Duff drinkers.

40. I love natural disasters because we're allowed to get out of work.

41. When I'm dead, I'm going to sleep. Oh, man, am I going to sleep.

42. What kind of fool would leave a pie on a windowsill, anyway?

Bummer

I was bummed about Steve Irwin's death by stingray for some odd reason. I liked that guy on TV. He had moxie.

Google Image Labeler

I'm not entirely sure why I'm addicted to the Google Image Labeler, but I gotta say, those guys are brilliant.

Hurricane Ernesto is Coming

Hurricane Ernesto is coming up the east coast, and is going to slam into Philadelphia later this afternoon. Yikes. If Christo isn't busy, and he still has some of these umbrellas around, we could use them to cover the City of Brotherly Floods.